The No-Bullshit Diet

 No more Mr. Creosote. 

No more Mr. Creosote. 

January is typically the month where bulging Americans all across the country pound their collective fists on the table, rattling the spread of empty beer cans and fast food wrappers, and say, “That’s it! This is the year I get back into shape!”

…But first, there is one Oreo left. I’ll just eat it now, so that it’s not there when I start …next week.

We’re always going to start “next week.” Then, the next thing you know, it’s already March. And we pound our fists again, admittedly with less enthusiasm.

Unfortunately, by the time we resolve to get our act together, health and fitness has become so elusive that we don’t know how – or even where – to begin. It is in this weakened state we find ourselves falling victim to every scam and half-baked theory out there in regards to diet and exercise, that promise "Extreme Results in 10 Seconds or Less!" And each school of thought is so full of zeal, it's like having to convert to a religion. What is this, Scientology... Or a Crossfit contract?  

What are you supposed to choose?

The apostles all make it sound kind of science-y. They all seem sort of legit, if you don’t think too much. Well, folks, that’s why I am here for you. Over the course of this site, I am going to explain to you what all of this junk is really about so that you can choose what is right for you. (Hint: it probably won’t be one thing or another, but a sensible combination of things.)

If you want to build muscle, body weight circuits are not the way to go. If you want to torch some fat, heavy lifting at low reps isn’t where it’s at. Eating nothing but fruit is never a good idea, no matter what your goals are. And kombucha is as useless as it is f*cking gross.

The best way to succeed is to stay within a macro/calorie count that suits your requirements. Eat a variety of minimally processed foods and follow an exercise program that meets your current needs and lifestyle. Always be prepared to tweak and re-balance, because life changes. Your body will change. Your goals will change.

None of this will magically happen overnight. Nothing is one-size fits all. The next time someone tries to convince you that ONE way is THE ONLY way, or blame every health woe on one type of food, say, “Thanks, but no thanks. I’m on a strict no-bullshit diet.”

And don’t wait until next week. It doesn’t have to be a Monday to begin living a healthier lifestyle. There are bound to be bumps and setbacks in the beginning, so you might as well toss that Oreo in the garbage and start now.